Got teeth?

GRANT DOES!!!
(Warning, the following images may be too graphic for some viewers)

That’s right “teeth”- plural. Just three days ago, Grant had exactly zero teeth. Today, we have two confirmed tooth sightings, and another two suspected at any time. Grant is being very secretive about the exact contents of his mouth, but close analysis of the above pictures will show that there are two teeth present. Conditions are also favorable for the other two front teeth to appear at any time. I am happy to report that Grant’s mood has improved considerably since the appearance of the first tooth, which was on the upper left. Experts had expected the first tooth to appear on the bottom, but apparently they failed to explain the expected order of things to Grant.

Teeth- what are they good for?...

...Absolutely nothing!

For the last six months, every time Grant was slightly fussier than usual or drooled more than I thought normal, I was sure he was teething. To date, none of these supposed bouts of teething have actually resulted in any teeth. However, the events of today have gone far beyond slight fussiness or harmless drool. I've now come to the conclusion that teeth are highly over-rated. Grant has made it a full ten months without them. I'm convinced he doesn't really need them at all. He is perfectly capable of eating Cheerios and the occasional bite of vegetable, fruit, pasta, or bread without any teeth. It's clear that he doesn't really need teeth at all, but is merely using teething as some sort of sick ploy or scare tactic.

With these findings in mind, I entered into intense negotiations with my ten month old son regarding this whole teething business. Grant agreed to forfeit any future teething rights and, in exchange, I agreed to buy him the most expensive, top of the line dentures when he gets older. Unfortunately, talks broke down over the timing and replacement schedule of said dentures. All current evidence indicates that Grant is now going forward with teething. I'll keep you all updated on any future developments in this breaking story.