Unfortunately it's been a while since I posted.
Fortunately, the reason I haven't posted is because we've been busy enjoying the summer.
Unfortunately, Grant was really hyper yesterday. By 9:00 a.m. I thought he just might drive me insane. (OK, whether or not I'm sane to begin with is debatable, but if you have kids you know what I mean.)
Fortunately, we went to the zoo yesterday. The zoo is pretty much the perfect place for a hyper toddler.
Unfortunately, Grant was upset that his friend Tyler wasn't there.
Fortunately, his friend Bella was and that made him happy.
Unfortunately, Grant got very tired and cranky from so much running around at the zoo.
Fortunately, this led to a nice long nap. Naps have become a rare treat for Grant.
Unfortunately, he slept too long and didn't want to go to bed last night.
Fortunately, the late bed time meant he slept nice and late this morning.
Unfortunately, that threw him off and made him sad when he woke up.
Fortunately, he got over it very quickly when I reminded him we where going to Tyler's house today. The grin on his face when I told him was priceless!
Unfortunately, it took us a while to get ready and Josie was getting really tired and fussy by the time we left.
Fortunately, she fell asleep in the car on the way to Tyler's house.
Unfortunately, it was only for five minutes.
Fortunately, that was apparently enough to put her in a good mood again. Josie just may be the easiest baby ever.
Unfortunately, we all played so hard that we got very hungry.
Fortunately, Tyler's mom had all of our favorite foods for lunch.
Unfortunately, I ate way too much. I really didn't need the entire no nut killer brownie.
Fortunately, I am not on a diet right now. We all had a great time, without any guilt about eating too much.
Unfortunately, we had such a great time that none of us wanted to leave, especially Grant.
Fortunately, I had a couple of Starbursts in my purse and was able to bribe Grant into getting into the car. (The fact that I once swore I would never bribe my children is a post for another day- along with many other things I once said I would never do when I had kids, and now do all the time.)
Unfortunately, by the time we finally got on the road rush hour was quickly approaching.
Fortunately, the kids are getting to be pretty good little car passengers. This used to be a big point of concern and anxiety for me, especially when Grant was a baby, but it's getting better.
Unfortunately, Grant was so relaxed in the car that I was afraid he'd fall asleep. (See above "unfortunately" to see what happens when Grant naps late in the afternoon)
Fortunately, he didn't fall asleep.
Unfortunately, the reason he didn't fall asleep was because he had to pee. He informed me of this fact just as we were attempting to get on a very busy interstate right at 5:00 in the afternoon. We might have been going about 10 miles per hour at this point.
Fortunately, my not yet three year old son as amazingly advanced plumbing and was able to hold it until we got home 20 minutes later.
Unfortunately, well, there is no more "unfortunately". Grant is nice and calm after playing with one of his favorite people all day. I got to spend the afternoon with a real live adult who is also a good friend. Josie is in a good mood but took short enough naps that she's almost sure to go to bed early. And, perhaps most exciting, Grant didn't pee his pants. When you're a stay at home mom, life doesn't get much better than that!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Jumper
Recently I was looking over the archives of this blog. The one nice thing about not posting as much as I should have is that it doesn't take long to read them all! I got to the very first posts Matt did with pictures of Grant in his jumper. I adored those pictures, so I decided it was time to get some similar shots of Josie in the same jumper.
Unlike Grant, who jumped frantically almost from the moment we put him in the thing, Josie is more of a "pick her legs up and let gravity do its thing" kind of girl. Yep, that pretty much sums up the different personalities of my two kids.
I wanted to get a picture of Josie really grinning in the jumper, but it wasn't long before Grant noticed how much attention Josie was getting.
And that was pretty much the end of getting pictures of Josie in the jumper that afternoon.
I really should have seen this one coming.
Unlike Grant, who jumped frantically almost from the moment we put him in the thing, Josie is more of a "pick her legs up and let gravity do its thing" kind of girl. Yep, that pretty much sums up the different personalities of my two kids.
I wanted to get a picture of Josie really grinning in the jumper, but it wasn't long before Grant noticed how much attention Josie was getting.
And that was pretty much the end of getting pictures of Josie in the jumper that afternoon.
I really should have seen this one coming.
I swear he's really saying Sasha
That is my sweet little dog Sasha. I got her for my birthday almost four years ago, which makes her my first baby. From the moment I saw her I thought Sasha was the perfect name for her- short and spunky.
What I failed to consider when I chose this name was how difficult the "sh" sound could be for the average small child to pronounce. And the truth of the matter is that Grant's speech abilities aren't even as good as the "average" small child, so saying "Sasha", well...
The weather was beautiful here, so I decided to put the kids in their new double jogging stroller to go out for a walk. Goodness knows we could all use the fresh air. Now, Grant adores his little Sasha and he very much wanted her to come with us on the walk. Pushing 50 plus pounds worth of human babies was daunting enough for me; I was not prepared to also wrangle a feisty little dog along.
This made Grant very sad. As I was loading him and his sister into the stroller he just kept saying, "Tata, oh tata! My tata!" in the saddest voice you've ever heard.
Then he got mad! Just as we were heading down the road past several of my elderly neighbors Grant leaned forward as far as he could, thrust both of his little fists in the air, and yelled in the loudest, angriest voice he could muster-
"Mommy TATA!!"
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Food!
Hmmm, haven't been in this thing before. Wonder what I'm supposed to do now.
What the heck is this?
Well, Mommy looks really excited about it so I guess I'll give it a try....
Ppppbbbbbbttttttt!!!!!!!!Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Grandma 'Nerva
**I had the honor of giving the eulogy at my mother's funeral today. It saddens me greatly that my children won't really remember their Grandma 'Nerva, but I would at least like them to have this so I'm posting it here. The following isn't exactly what I said, as I have a bad habit of continuing to revise speeches even as I'm giving them, but it is fairly close.**
First I’d like to say how wonderful it’s been over the last few days and especially today to see all the outpouring of love for Mom, to see the faces of so many people who loved Mom. Now, I have to admit, that while there are many, many faces here that I recognize there are also a few I don’t know as well. Likewise, I have a feeling there are at least a few people out there who aren’t entirely sure which daughter I am, where I fall in the lineup. So I’ll help you out a bit- I’m my mother’s baby. When I was a teenager I used to hate it when people would refer to me as the “baby” of the family because I thought it sounded so juvenile. I would correct people and tell them I wasn’t the “baby” I was the “youngest”. After I corrected someone like that one day my mother laughed, gave me a sideways hug and said “you may make everyone else call you the youngest all you like, but I am your mother and you will always be my baby!” Just like that my mother had taken something I’d perceived as a negative and made it feel so special and positive. I never again minded when people called me the baby of the family.
And it was around that time that I became convinced that I was my mother’s favorite. After all I was her baby! Imagine my surprise when, over the years, I realized that my siblings all seemed to be under the impression that they were Mom’s favorite! That confused me for a while, but eventually I figured out the truth. We were all Mom’s favorites. You see my mom had such an incredible, boundless capacity to love that it really was possible for all of her children to be loved like a favorite child. And that capacity to love and nurture didn’t stop with the seven children she gave birth to. As a good friend of the family wrote to Mom on her Caringbridge site-
“She had been like a second mother to me and I’d always felt so loved unconditionally by her even when times weren't so great. I can't even explain how, when she had seven awesome children of her own, she still managed to nurture and love and feel like a mother to so many other children.”
That quote really does sum up so much of how my mother was with so many people.
Of course, long before she was a mother, Mom was a daughter and sister. Whenever Mom spoke of her brothers I could always tell how proud she was to be their sister. When her mom became ill, our mom quit school to keep house and take care of her little brother Gawin. And she had such a special relationship with her sister, my Auntie Faye. We all knew that the one time we were NOT to call Mom was at 7:00 on Sunday nights because that was when she talked to Faye.
Faye may have been Mom’s best friend, but she was far from her only friend. Mom had more friends than I could possibly keep track of, but she remembered and loved them all. I’ve heard so many heartwarming stories from many of these friends in the last few days, there is no way I could share them all now, but there is just one I’d like to mention.
Mom was about 16 and her friend Irene wanted to set Mom up on a blind date. Mom really didn’t want to go- she hadn’t always had great experiences on blind dates in the past. But Irene persisted so Mom finally relented, even though the only things she knew about her blind date was that he was a twin and he was from Inwood. Now, 52 years later, I’m honored to call that guy from Inwood Dad.
I’ve tried and tried to come up with some way to put the love Mom and Dad shared into words, but I don’t think there are words to describe it. They were such opposites, but they would look at each other in a certain way and you could just feel the love. These last few months as dad gently cared for her and mom worried about him, were just a continuation of the love they have lived.
Her enormous heart was only the first of Mom’s many gifts. Anyone who spent any time with Mom quickly learned that she could not sit still. If there was a job to be done she was going to do it and do it well. If something broken she would figure out a way to fix it. If a baby needed tending, she’d be the first one in line to hold it. And she had a way of seeing problems, and finding solutions, where others might not. It seems, this was a habit she developed early.
A dear cousin of my mother’s, Barbra Jo, recently shared an old memory of my mother with me. Barbra Jo was around three and my mom was around ten. Barbra Jo was cutting out paper dolls when she cut herself badly in the leg. Now, if I’d seen a cousin cut herself like that when I was ten, I’d have gotten an adult right away and that would have been the end of my involvement in the matter. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to do any more. But not my mom. At the grand old age of ten, my mom when out to the tool shed and figured out how to make her injured cousin some crutches!
My sister Gina tells a story that happened some fifty years after that one. Gina, who lives an hour’s drive away from here, called Mom one morning. Gina’s son Jon, who was just a year and a half at the time, was very sick and Gina had been up with him all night. She was exhausted and upset. An hour and fifteen minutes after hanging up the phone, Mom was at Gina’s door. Of course, just showing up wasn’t enough for Mom, oh no! She needed a project. After looking around a bit, Mom realized that the cabinets in Gina’s kitchen weren’t baby proofed. Several people had looked at the cabinets, attempted to put the locks in place, and said that it wasn’t possible to baby proof them the way Gina wanted. Just the kind of challenge Mom loved. Mom got the drill and before she left that day those cabinets were childproofed.
Jessica, another of my sisters, has a similar story from last Christmas. Jessica’s son Garrett really wanted a particular toy from Christmas, but the stores in Sioux City, where Jessica lives, didn’t have it so Jessica wanted to know if Mom was going to go to Sioux Falls soon and if she could check there for the toy. Mom had been planning to go later in the week, but when there was something to be done Mom just couldn’t wait. She went that day to look for the toy, but none of the stores in Sioux Falls had it either. Jessica figured that it was a lost cause, but Mom was not one to give up easily. Later that week, while on her way to Sioux City, Mom stopped at every store between Inwood and Sioux City. Sure enough, she found the toy in Lemars. If you asked Mom to do something you knew it’d get done.
Those are just a few lightehearted stored about how Mom was always there for those she cared about, but the most recent examples of this are far from lighthearted. When Mom’s second daughter Joni had to undergo major surgery last fall there was no question about where Mom wanted to be- Joni’s bedside. Then again, just a few short weeks later, when Joni’s husband died Mom did everything she was capable of doing to be there for Joni. Joni has a long road ahead of her, but Mom got her through the two most difficult parts of that road and Mom taught her, taught us all, how to get through the rest.
Those were hard words to say, but they needed to be said. However, this speech would not be complete if I didn’t talk about one other aspect of my mom.
Mom’s habit of rearranging, well, everything, is almost legendary in my family. It didn’t matter how carefully you arranged your furniture, she’d figure out a better way to do it. My oldest sister Luanne remembers the time that Mom called her from the factory. Mom had been thinking about it for hours as she worked and she had decided how Luanne’s living room should be arranged. To this day, Luanne’s living room is still arranged the way Mom said it should be.
Mom also loved to plan events and parties. My Aunt Wanda talked the other day about how, when they couldn’t remember whose turn it was to host the Kooima Christmas or Thanksgiving, they could always ask Mom because she would know.
So you see, when Mom had a plan, things generally went according to that plan. Whether it was how the furniture in the living room should be arranged or planning our Christmas gatherings. Mom could usually find a way to make it happen the way she wanted. There is of course one very notable exception, one area where things didn’t go according to Mom’s plan. She had planned to have maybe two or three kids, not more than four. She had seven. My mother had not planned to have me. I always appreciated her honesty about this. I knew that she’d cried when she found out she was pregnant again; she didn’t understand why this had to happen to her. Why, when she already had six children? Having a seventh baby had not been a part of her plan. But I knew, I KNOW, without a doubt, that she loved me- I felt that love each and every day of my life- I feel it even now. (after all, I really was her favorite) God had followed his plan instead of hers and she made sure I always knew how grateful she was about it. The mother’s ring currently around my neck was hers. She told me that my red stone made her ring complete, that I made the family complete.
And now, my mother has left us to join God in heaven. I’m crying and I don’t understand why this had to happen. Why now when my family has already been through so much in the last few months? Losing my mother now as not a part of my plan! But, as surely as I know I am meant to be here, I also know that this is part of God’s plan. Mom’s job here on Earth is done; it was time for her to join God in heaven- where I’m sure she’s already busy rearranging the furniture.
First I’d like to say how wonderful it’s been over the last few days and especially today to see all the outpouring of love for Mom, to see the faces of so many people who loved Mom. Now, I have to admit, that while there are many, many faces here that I recognize there are also a few I don’t know as well. Likewise, I have a feeling there are at least a few people out there who aren’t entirely sure which daughter I am, where I fall in the lineup. So I’ll help you out a bit- I’m my mother’s baby. When I was a teenager I used to hate it when people would refer to me as the “baby” of the family because I thought it sounded so juvenile. I would correct people and tell them I wasn’t the “baby” I was the “youngest”. After I corrected someone like that one day my mother laughed, gave me a sideways hug and said “you may make everyone else call you the youngest all you like, but I am your mother and you will always be my baby!” Just like that my mother had taken something I’d perceived as a negative and made it feel so special and positive. I never again minded when people called me the baby of the family.
And it was around that time that I became convinced that I was my mother’s favorite. After all I was her baby! Imagine my surprise when, over the years, I realized that my siblings all seemed to be under the impression that they were Mom’s favorite! That confused me for a while, but eventually I figured out the truth. We were all Mom’s favorites. You see my mom had such an incredible, boundless capacity to love that it really was possible for all of her children to be loved like a favorite child. And that capacity to love and nurture didn’t stop with the seven children she gave birth to. As a good friend of the family wrote to Mom on her Caringbridge site-
“She had been like a second mother to me and I’d always felt so loved unconditionally by her even when times weren't so great. I can't even explain how, when she had seven awesome children of her own, she still managed to nurture and love and feel like a mother to so many other children.”
That quote really does sum up so much of how my mother was with so many people.
Of course, long before she was a mother, Mom was a daughter and sister. Whenever Mom spoke of her brothers I could always tell how proud she was to be their sister. When her mom became ill, our mom quit school to keep house and take care of her little brother Gawin. And she had such a special relationship with her sister, my Auntie Faye. We all knew that the one time we were NOT to call Mom was at 7:00 on Sunday nights because that was when she talked to Faye.
Faye may have been Mom’s best friend, but she was far from her only friend. Mom had more friends than I could possibly keep track of, but she remembered and loved them all. I’ve heard so many heartwarming stories from many of these friends in the last few days, there is no way I could share them all now, but there is just one I’d like to mention.
Mom was about 16 and her friend Irene wanted to set Mom up on a blind date. Mom really didn’t want to go- she hadn’t always had great experiences on blind dates in the past. But Irene persisted so Mom finally relented, even though the only things she knew about her blind date was that he was a twin and he was from Inwood. Now, 52 years later, I’m honored to call that guy from Inwood Dad.
I’ve tried and tried to come up with some way to put the love Mom and Dad shared into words, but I don’t think there are words to describe it. They were such opposites, but they would look at each other in a certain way and you could just feel the love. These last few months as dad gently cared for her and mom worried about him, were just a continuation of the love they have lived.
Her enormous heart was only the first of Mom’s many gifts. Anyone who spent any time with Mom quickly learned that she could not sit still. If there was a job to be done she was going to do it and do it well. If something broken she would figure out a way to fix it. If a baby needed tending, she’d be the first one in line to hold it. And she had a way of seeing problems, and finding solutions, where others might not. It seems, this was a habit she developed early.
A dear cousin of my mother’s, Barbra Jo, recently shared an old memory of my mother with me. Barbra Jo was around three and my mom was around ten. Barbra Jo was cutting out paper dolls when she cut herself badly in the leg. Now, if I’d seen a cousin cut herself like that when I was ten, I’d have gotten an adult right away and that would have been the end of my involvement in the matter. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to do any more. But not my mom. At the grand old age of ten, my mom when out to the tool shed and figured out how to make her injured cousin some crutches!
My sister Gina tells a story that happened some fifty years after that one. Gina, who lives an hour’s drive away from here, called Mom one morning. Gina’s son Jon, who was just a year and a half at the time, was very sick and Gina had been up with him all night. She was exhausted and upset. An hour and fifteen minutes after hanging up the phone, Mom was at Gina’s door. Of course, just showing up wasn’t enough for Mom, oh no! She needed a project. After looking around a bit, Mom realized that the cabinets in Gina’s kitchen weren’t baby proofed. Several people had looked at the cabinets, attempted to put the locks in place, and said that it wasn’t possible to baby proof them the way Gina wanted. Just the kind of challenge Mom loved. Mom got the drill and before she left that day those cabinets were childproofed.
Jessica, another of my sisters, has a similar story from last Christmas. Jessica’s son Garrett really wanted a particular toy from Christmas, but the stores in Sioux City, where Jessica lives, didn’t have it so Jessica wanted to know if Mom was going to go to Sioux Falls soon and if she could check there for the toy. Mom had been planning to go later in the week, but when there was something to be done Mom just couldn’t wait. She went that day to look for the toy, but none of the stores in Sioux Falls had it either. Jessica figured that it was a lost cause, but Mom was not one to give up easily. Later that week, while on her way to Sioux City, Mom stopped at every store between Inwood and Sioux City. Sure enough, she found the toy in Lemars. If you asked Mom to do something you knew it’d get done.
Those are just a few lightehearted stored about how Mom was always there for those she cared about, but the most recent examples of this are far from lighthearted. When Mom’s second daughter Joni had to undergo major surgery last fall there was no question about where Mom wanted to be- Joni’s bedside. Then again, just a few short weeks later, when Joni’s husband died Mom did everything she was capable of doing to be there for Joni. Joni has a long road ahead of her, but Mom got her through the two most difficult parts of that road and Mom taught her, taught us all, how to get through the rest.
Those were hard words to say, but they needed to be said. However, this speech would not be complete if I didn’t talk about one other aspect of my mom.
Mom’s habit of rearranging, well, everything, is almost legendary in my family. It didn’t matter how carefully you arranged your furniture, she’d figure out a better way to do it. My oldest sister Luanne remembers the time that Mom called her from the factory. Mom had been thinking about it for hours as she worked and she had decided how Luanne’s living room should be arranged. To this day, Luanne’s living room is still arranged the way Mom said it should be.
Mom also loved to plan events and parties. My Aunt Wanda talked the other day about how, when they couldn’t remember whose turn it was to host the Kooima Christmas or Thanksgiving, they could always ask Mom because she would know.
So you see, when Mom had a plan, things generally went according to that plan. Whether it was how the furniture in the living room should be arranged or planning our Christmas gatherings. Mom could usually find a way to make it happen the way she wanted. There is of course one very notable exception, one area where things didn’t go according to Mom’s plan. She had planned to have maybe two or three kids, not more than four. She had seven. My mother had not planned to have me. I always appreciated her honesty about this. I knew that she’d cried when she found out she was pregnant again; she didn’t understand why this had to happen to her. Why, when she already had six children? Having a seventh baby had not been a part of her plan. But I knew, I KNOW, without a doubt, that she loved me- I felt that love each and every day of my life- I feel it even now. (after all, I really was her favorite) God had followed his plan instead of hers and she made sure I always knew how grateful she was about it. The mother’s ring currently around my neck was hers. She told me that my red stone made her ring complete, that I made the family complete.
And now, my mother has left us to join God in heaven. I’m crying and I don’t understand why this had to happen. Why now when my family has already been through so much in the last few months? Losing my mother now as not a part of my plan! But, as surely as I know I am meant to be here, I also know that this is part of God’s plan. Mom’s job here on Earth is done; it was time for her to join God in heaven- where I’m sure she’s already busy rearranging the furniture.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Oatmeal
He scooped the soggy oatmeal out of the sink and ate it. I probably should have stopped him. And, just in case anyone out there had any remaining doubt regarding my current status as the mother of the year-
Oh, what the neighbors must think.Uh oh! Oh no! Oh crap!
Yes, that is an almost full 42 oz box of oatmeal that *someone* has emptied into my sink. And yes, that certain someone is standing on a chair, naked as the day he was born, in front of the sink. Yes, said carton of oatmeal was previously on the top shelf in the cupboard on the other side of the kitchen. No, I don't particularly want to know how it got from point A to point B.Grant's reaction when I walked over and saw what he'd done was to say "Uh oh! Oh no! Oh CRAP!". Apparently the time has come for me to 1) pay more attention to what Grant is doing when I'm taking care of Josie and 2) pay more attention to what I say when he still manages to do stuff like this.
I'm actually kind of grateful for Grant's little experiments today (I won't even get into what he was doing with his blocks earlier). He keeps my mind off of less pleasant things. Things like the fact that my mother is very sick and won't be with us much longer. Thank you Grant, for reminding me that life goes on and making me smile.
Monday, April 12, 2010
The last six months
So much has happened in the last six months that I barely know where to begin writing about it, which is a good portion of why I haven't written. But I do want to write again, so here it goes. Just to warn you, this is primarily for my own memory and probably a fairly dry account of the last six months, so it may not be the most entertaining thing for others to read.
Grant celebrated his second birthday on October 1. He had a nice cake and plenty of presents at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I don't think he's really old enough to understand what was going on, but I know he had fun with some of his favorite people in the whole world.
It just so happens that my son shares his birthday with his Auntie Jojo, my sister Joni (a.k.a. "the one in California"). It's a very special connection of the two of them share because of this. Because of this shared birthday, and because Joni know how I feel about Disneyland, she texted me that day with a picture of her and her son, Jesse, on Space Mountain (Disneyland really is the happiest place on Earth, but in my opinion, the happiest place on earth is more specifically found on Space Mountain). She said that she wasn't feeling well, but that it was her birthday so she and Jesse went to Disneyland anyway! I was very jealous of the Disneyland part, and honestly didn't think much of the being sick part. At least, not until a few weeks later.
I was on my way to a prenatal appointment when my mom called. She wanted to know if I'd heard that Joni was sick. And, by "sick", she meant turning yellow and itchy all over. Mom said that it was probably gallstones and that Joni would need surgery. Of course I realized this wasn't good, but I grew up in a family where surgeries and other hospitalizations were not particularly unusual. Right or wrong, I've become a bit desensitized to the idea as a result of that.
Turns out it wasn't gallstones. A few weeks after I got that text from Disneyland, my sister was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. If you're looking for a good laugh I highly suggest you not google pancreatic cancer. But, my sister's cancer was operable, which was great news. She had a major surgery called the Whipple procedure followed by chemotherapy and radiation. It's been a long road, and she's not to the end of it yet, but she's doing much better now, thank goodness.
After surgery, Joni was released from the hospital on November 23- the same day that I entered the hospital for a much, much happier event. My baby girl, Josephine, was born at 7:16 that morning. At some point I need to write her birth story (and my son's for that matter), but for now I'll just say that I couldn't have asked for a better experience or a more amazing daughter.
The holidays came right on the heels of Josie's birth. The original plan was for my entire family to come up to Minneapolis to celebrate Christmas and to have a belated birthday party for me (I turned 30 in July). With Joni's diagnosis it became evident that she wouldn't be able to make it. Then there was bad weather so it was post-poned a week, until New Year's weekend. But again, this was only the beginning.
The night before everyone was to come there was more bad news. Joni's husband, Don, was very sick- as in sicker than Joni, which was really saying something. He wasn't expected to live more than a few days. Naturally, my parents left immediately for California and Christmas was effectively cancelled.
Don was an extremely out-going, fun-loving, and giving man. He passed away on January 4, 2010.
My parents were in California at that time, and the rest of my siblings and I planned to join them so that we could all attend Don's funeral. My sister Luanne and I weren't going until the day before the funeral, but my other sibling went out a few days earlier. We all knew that Mom hadn't been feeling well, but between the health problems she'd had for years and all the stress, I for one didn't think much of it at the time. Fortunately, my other siblings took it more seriously and talked her into going to the doctor the day before the funeral. When I arrived at Joni's house my mom and my sister Jessica were still at the hospital, several hours after they'd gone. That was my first inkling that something might be really wrong with Mom. This was confirmed a few hours later when, on the eve of his son-in-law's funeral, my father pulled all of his kids into my sister's laundry room an told us our mother most likely had lymphoma.
The original plan had been for my mom to stay with Joni for a while and then to drive back to Iowa with Dad. That plan changed with Mom's diagnosis. Instead, she flew home with my sisters and my brother drove with Dad. She went to a previously scheduled doctor's appointment the next day, where her doctor immediately had her admitted to the hospital in the oncology ward. They confirmed that she had not only lymphoma, but also leukemia as well. Her cancer is very aggressive; they said that if she'd waited a few more days it would have been too late. But it wasn't too late, so a plane was formed (because all the other plans we'd made in the previous months had gone so well!). The plan was for approximately six months of chemo, most of which Mom would spend in the hospital. The good news was that, generally, cancer that grows fast dies fast too.
A few weeks after Mom was admitted to the hospital, Aunt Mickey, my dad's brother Pete's wife, called to see how Mom was doing and to say that Pete really wanted to come visit Mom but that he wasn't feeling well and didn't want to risk getting Mom sick. Uncle Pete passed away on February 4, 2010, exactly a month after Don.
Uncle Pete had respiratory problems for years and for some time every breath had been a struggle. So it was that the cold he caught was too much for him. Uncle Pete was a quiet man, at least compared to many of Dad's siblings, and always struck me as a gentle, kind soul. In the end, he was still coherent and he was the one who made the decision to turn the vents off.
Sadly, it came as no surprise in March when my sister Gina called to tell me that my Uncle Jap, another of my father's brothers, was in the hospital. Uncle Jap was originally diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. Back then, I assumed he would be okay and he was. This time when I learned that the cancer had come back, I assumed he wouldn't be okay and my assumption was once again correct. Funny how life can change the assumptions you make in such a short period of time.
Uncle Jap's full first name was Jasper. That's an increasingly trendy and popular name on many of the baby name websites I still like to read. I remember one poster on one such website, while discussing the name Jasper, commenting on how urban and refined the name sounded. Nothing could have been further from my mental image of Uncle Jasper! Uncle Jap was a farmer and good ol' boy through and through. He loved practical jokes and was always the life of the party. As my sister Peggy said, the world is a little quieter now that he's gone.
So now it's April. Joni is doing very well, all things considered. She still has a few rounds of chemo ahead of her, but she's completed radiation and her blood tests are looking very good.
Mom remains in the hospital and, while she's still fighting the good fight, she's hit a rough patch. The grow fast, die fast idea didn't hold true for Mom. Her lymphoma is doing better, but the leukemia is not responding to the usual chemotherapy drugs so she's now facing bone marrow transplants. Siblings are usually the best matches, and my mom has five so we were all optimistic. However, only three were eligible to even be tested and none of them were a match, much as I know they all wanted to be. They're looking into the national bone marrow registry for possible matches for Mom, but it could be another month before we know if they've got one. For now we just pray and hope they find one.
Well, that's a summary of the major events in my life since my last post. I wish it included more cute stories about what my kids have been up to, and I do have lots of those, but I needed to get all of that out first. I have so many emotions regarding the last six months of my life, many of them obviously sad, but lots of other emotions too. I hardly know how to start sorting them all out, and I'm not sure this is the right forum for that anyway. This post took forever to write, so I'm not going to take the time to edit it. I apologize now for the typos, inventive spellings, and questionable transitions I'm sure litter this post. Hey, at least it's a start, right? I promise to post some fun pictures of the kids soon!
Grant celebrated his second birthday on October 1. He had a nice cake and plenty of presents at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I don't think he's really old enough to understand what was going on, but I know he had fun with some of his favorite people in the whole world.
It just so happens that my son shares his birthday with his Auntie Jojo, my sister Joni (a.k.a. "the one in California"). It's a very special connection of the two of them share because of this. Because of this shared birthday, and because Joni know how I feel about Disneyland, she texted me that day with a picture of her and her son, Jesse, on Space Mountain (Disneyland really is the happiest place on Earth, but in my opinion, the happiest place on earth is more specifically found on Space Mountain). She said that she wasn't feeling well, but that it was her birthday so she and Jesse went to Disneyland anyway! I was very jealous of the Disneyland part, and honestly didn't think much of the being sick part. At least, not until a few weeks later.
I was on my way to a prenatal appointment when my mom called. She wanted to know if I'd heard that Joni was sick. And, by "sick", she meant turning yellow and itchy all over. Mom said that it was probably gallstones and that Joni would need surgery. Of course I realized this wasn't good, but I grew up in a family where surgeries and other hospitalizations were not particularly unusual. Right or wrong, I've become a bit desensitized to the idea as a result of that.
Turns out it wasn't gallstones. A few weeks after I got that text from Disneyland, my sister was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. If you're looking for a good laugh I highly suggest you not google pancreatic cancer. But, my sister's cancer was operable, which was great news. She had a major surgery called the Whipple procedure followed by chemotherapy and radiation. It's been a long road, and she's not to the end of it yet, but she's doing much better now, thank goodness.
After surgery, Joni was released from the hospital on November 23- the same day that I entered the hospital for a much, much happier event. My baby girl, Josephine, was born at 7:16 that morning. At some point I need to write her birth story (and my son's for that matter), but for now I'll just say that I couldn't have asked for a better experience or a more amazing daughter.
The holidays came right on the heels of Josie's birth. The original plan was for my entire family to come up to Minneapolis to celebrate Christmas and to have a belated birthday party for me (I turned 30 in July). With Joni's diagnosis it became evident that she wouldn't be able to make it. Then there was bad weather so it was post-poned a week, until New Year's weekend. But again, this was only the beginning.
The night before everyone was to come there was more bad news. Joni's husband, Don, was very sick- as in sicker than Joni, which was really saying something. He wasn't expected to live more than a few days. Naturally, my parents left immediately for California and Christmas was effectively cancelled.
Don was an extremely out-going, fun-loving, and giving man. He passed away on January 4, 2010.
My parents were in California at that time, and the rest of my siblings and I planned to join them so that we could all attend Don's funeral. My sister Luanne and I weren't going until the day before the funeral, but my other sibling went out a few days earlier. We all knew that Mom hadn't been feeling well, but between the health problems she'd had for years and all the stress, I for one didn't think much of it at the time. Fortunately, my other siblings took it more seriously and talked her into going to the doctor the day before the funeral. When I arrived at Joni's house my mom and my sister Jessica were still at the hospital, several hours after they'd gone. That was my first inkling that something might be really wrong with Mom. This was confirmed a few hours later when, on the eve of his son-in-law's funeral, my father pulled all of his kids into my sister's laundry room an told us our mother most likely had lymphoma.
The original plan had been for my mom to stay with Joni for a while and then to drive back to Iowa with Dad. That plan changed with Mom's diagnosis. Instead, she flew home with my sisters and my brother drove with Dad. She went to a previously scheduled doctor's appointment the next day, where her doctor immediately had her admitted to the hospital in the oncology ward. They confirmed that she had not only lymphoma, but also leukemia as well. Her cancer is very aggressive; they said that if she'd waited a few more days it would have been too late. But it wasn't too late, so a plane was formed (because all the other plans we'd made in the previous months had gone so well!). The plan was for approximately six months of chemo, most of which Mom would spend in the hospital. The good news was that, generally, cancer that grows fast dies fast too.
A few weeks after Mom was admitted to the hospital, Aunt Mickey, my dad's brother Pete's wife, called to see how Mom was doing and to say that Pete really wanted to come visit Mom but that he wasn't feeling well and didn't want to risk getting Mom sick. Uncle Pete passed away on February 4, 2010, exactly a month after Don.
Uncle Pete had respiratory problems for years and for some time every breath had been a struggle. So it was that the cold he caught was too much for him. Uncle Pete was a quiet man, at least compared to many of Dad's siblings, and always struck me as a gentle, kind soul. In the end, he was still coherent and he was the one who made the decision to turn the vents off.
Sadly, it came as no surprise in March when my sister Gina called to tell me that my Uncle Jap, another of my father's brothers, was in the hospital. Uncle Jap was originally diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. Back then, I assumed he would be okay and he was. This time when I learned that the cancer had come back, I assumed he wouldn't be okay and my assumption was once again correct. Funny how life can change the assumptions you make in such a short period of time.
Uncle Jap's full first name was Jasper. That's an increasingly trendy and popular name on many of the baby name websites I still like to read. I remember one poster on one such website, while discussing the name Jasper, commenting on how urban and refined the name sounded. Nothing could have been further from my mental image of Uncle Jasper! Uncle Jap was a farmer and good ol' boy through and through. He loved practical jokes and was always the life of the party. As my sister Peggy said, the world is a little quieter now that he's gone.
So now it's April. Joni is doing very well, all things considered. She still has a few rounds of chemo ahead of her, but she's completed radiation and her blood tests are looking very good.
Mom remains in the hospital and, while she's still fighting the good fight, she's hit a rough patch. The grow fast, die fast idea didn't hold true for Mom. Her lymphoma is doing better, but the leukemia is not responding to the usual chemotherapy drugs so she's now facing bone marrow transplants. Siblings are usually the best matches, and my mom has five so we were all optimistic. However, only three were eligible to even be tested and none of them were a match, much as I know they all wanted to be. They're looking into the national bone marrow registry for possible matches for Mom, but it could be another month before we know if they've got one. For now we just pray and hope they find one.
Well, that's a summary of the major events in my life since my last post. I wish it included more cute stories about what my kids have been up to, and I do have lots of those, but I needed to get all of that out first. I have so many emotions regarding the last six months of my life, many of them obviously sad, but lots of other emotions too. I hardly know how to start sorting them all out, and I'm not sure this is the right forum for that anyway. This post took forever to write, so I'm not going to take the time to edit it. I apologize now for the typos, inventive spellings, and questionable transitions I'm sure litter this post. Hey, at least it's a start, right? I promise to post some fun pictures of the kids soon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
