The last six months

So much has happened in the last six months that I barely know where to begin writing about it, which is a good portion of why I haven't written. But I do want to write again, so here it goes. Just to warn you, this is primarily for my own memory and probably a fairly dry account of the last six months, so it may not be the most entertaining thing for others to read.

Grant celebrated his second birthday on October 1. He had a nice cake and plenty of presents at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I don't think he's really old enough to understand what was going on, but I know he had fun with some of his favorite people in the whole world.

It just so happens that my son shares his birthday with his Auntie Jojo, my sister Joni (a.k.a. "the one in California"). It's a very special connection of the two of them share because of this. Because of this shared birthday, and because Joni know how I feel about Disneyland, she texted me that day with a picture of her and her son, Jesse, on Space Mountain (Disneyland really is the happiest place on Earth, but in my opinion, the happiest place on earth is more specifically found on Space Mountain). She said that she wasn't feeling well, but that it was her birthday so she and Jesse went to Disneyland anyway! I was very jealous of the Disneyland part, and honestly didn't think much of the being sick part. At least, not until a few weeks later.

I was on my way to a prenatal appointment when my mom called. She wanted to know if I'd heard that Joni was sick. And, by "sick", she meant turning yellow and itchy all over. Mom said that it was probably gallstones and that Joni would need surgery. Of course I realized this wasn't good, but I grew up in a family where surgeries and other hospitalizations were not particularly unusual. Right or wrong, I've become a bit desensitized to the idea as a result of that.

Turns out it wasn't gallstones. A few weeks after I got that text from Disneyland, my sister was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. If you're looking for a good laugh I highly suggest you not google pancreatic cancer. But, my sister's cancer was operable, which was great news. She had a major surgery called the Whipple procedure followed by chemotherapy and radiation. It's been a long road, and she's not to the end of it yet, but she's doing much better now, thank goodness.

After surgery, Joni was released from the hospital on November 23- the same day that I entered the hospital for a much, much happier event. My baby girl, Josephine, was born at 7:16 that morning. At some point I need to write her birth story (and my son's for that matter), but for now I'll just say that I couldn't have asked for a better experience or a more amazing daughter.

The holidays came right on the heels of Josie's birth. The original plan was for my entire family to come up to Minneapolis to celebrate Christmas and to have a belated birthday party for me (I turned 30 in July). With Joni's diagnosis it became evident that she wouldn't be able to make it. Then there was bad weather so it was post-poned a week, until New Year's weekend. But again, this was only the beginning.

The night before everyone was to come there was more bad news. Joni's husband, Don, was very sick- as in sicker than Joni, which was really saying something. He wasn't expected to live more than a few days. Naturally, my parents left immediately for California and Christmas was effectively cancelled.

Don was an extremely out-going, fun-loving, and giving man. He passed away on January 4, 2010.

My parents were in California at that time, and the rest of my siblings and I planned to join them so that we could all attend Don's funeral. My sister Luanne and I weren't going until the day before the funeral, but my other sibling went out a few days earlier. We all knew that Mom hadn't been feeling well, but between the health problems she'd had for years and all the stress, I for one didn't think much of it at the time. Fortunately, my other siblings took it more seriously and talked her into going to the doctor the day before the funeral. When I arrived at Joni's house my mom and my sister Jessica were still at the hospital, several hours after they'd gone. That was my first inkling that something might be really wrong with Mom. This was confirmed a few hours later when, on the eve of his son-in-law's funeral, my father pulled all of his kids into my sister's laundry room an told us our mother most likely had lymphoma.

The original plan had been for my mom to stay with Joni for a while and then to drive back to Iowa with Dad. That plan changed with Mom's diagnosis. Instead, she flew home with my sisters and my brother drove with Dad. She went to a previously scheduled doctor's appointment the next day, where her doctor immediately had her admitted to the hospital in the oncology ward. They confirmed that she had not only lymphoma, but also leukemia as well. Her cancer is very aggressive; they said that if she'd waited a few more days it would have been too late. But it wasn't too late, so a plane was formed (because all the other plans we'd made in the previous months had gone so well!). The plan was for approximately six months of chemo, most of which Mom would spend in the hospital. The good news was that, generally, cancer that grows fast dies fast too.

A few weeks after Mom was admitted to the hospital, Aunt Mickey, my dad's brother Pete's wife, called to see how Mom was doing and to say that Pete really wanted to come visit Mom but that he wasn't feeling well and didn't want to risk getting Mom sick. Uncle Pete passed away on February 4, 2010, exactly a month after Don.

Uncle Pete had respiratory problems for years and for some time every breath had been a struggle. So it was that the cold he caught was too much for him. Uncle Pete was a quiet man, at least compared to many of Dad's siblings, and always struck me as a gentle, kind soul. In the end, he was still coherent and he was the one who made the decision to turn the vents off.

Sadly, it came as no surprise in March when my sister Gina called to tell me that my Uncle Jap, another of my father's brothers, was in the hospital. Uncle Jap was originally diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. Back then, I assumed he would be okay and he was. This time when I learned that the cancer had come back, I assumed he wouldn't be okay and my assumption was once again correct. Funny how life can change the assumptions you make in such a short period of time.

Uncle Jap's full first name was Jasper. That's an increasingly trendy and popular name on many of the baby name websites I still like to read. I remember one poster on one such website, while discussing the name Jasper, commenting on how urban and refined the name sounded. Nothing could have been further from my mental image of Uncle Jasper! Uncle Jap was a farmer and good ol' boy through and through. He loved practical jokes and was always the life of the party. As my sister Peggy said, the world is a little quieter now that he's gone.

So now it's April. Joni is doing very well, all things considered. She still has a few rounds of chemo ahead of her, but she's completed radiation and her blood tests are looking very good.

Mom remains in the hospital and, while she's still fighting the good fight, she's hit a rough patch. The grow fast, die fast idea didn't hold true for Mom. Her lymphoma is doing better, but the leukemia is not responding to the usual chemotherapy drugs so she's now facing bone marrow transplants. Siblings are usually the best matches, and my mom has five so we were all optimistic. However, only three were eligible to even be tested and none of them were a match, much as I know they all wanted to be. They're looking into the national bone marrow registry for possible matches for Mom, but it could be another month before we know if they've got one. For now we just pray and hope they find one.

Well, that's a summary of the major events in my life since my last post. I wish it included more cute stories about what my kids have been up to, and I do have lots of those, but I needed to get all of that out first. I have so many emotions regarding the last six months of my life, many of them obviously sad, but lots of other emotions too. I hardly know how to start sorting them all out, and I'm not sure this is the right forum for that anyway. This post took forever to write, so I'm not going to take the time to edit it. I apologize now for the typos, inventive spellings, and questionable transitions I'm sure litter this post. Hey, at least it's a start, right? I promise to post some fun pictures of the kids soon!