Teeth- what are they good for?...

...Absolutely nothing!

For the last six months, every time Grant was slightly fussier than usual or drooled more than I thought normal, I was sure he was teething. To date, none of these supposed bouts of teething have actually resulted in any teeth. However, the events of today have gone far beyond slight fussiness or harmless drool. I've now come to the conclusion that teeth are highly over-rated. Grant has made it a full ten months without them. I'm convinced he doesn't really need them at all. He is perfectly capable of eating Cheerios and the occasional bite of vegetable, fruit, pasta, or bread without any teeth. It's clear that he doesn't really need teeth at all, but is merely using teething as some sort of sick ploy or scare tactic.

With these findings in mind, I entered into intense negotiations with my ten month old son regarding this whole teething business. Grant agreed to forfeit any future teething rights and, in exchange, I agreed to buy him the most expensive, top of the line dentures when he gets older. Unfortunately, talks broke down over the timing and replacement schedule of said dentures. All current evidence indicates that Grant is now going forward with teething. I'll keep you all updated on any future developments in this breaking story.